I received an email from Chaplain asking if I would feel uncomfortable if Jan attended a gathering at her place. I instantly wanted to see Jan, for things to be normal with her but I know that’s not reality. So…I said I’d prefer Jan not be there – she said she wouldn’t be included then.
I wonder if she asked the same question to Jan. I apologized for our drama, I meant well and so why am I feeling guilty? Initially it was if I “won” somehow, for about 2 seconds and then I felt bad – as if my actions led to Jan being excluded. I know there isn’t anything inherently wrong with how I’ve behaved with her but still…this whole situation just blows.